It was a particularly hard day. The kind that reminds you why people call it “The Terrible Twos”. The sad part? It was only 10am…
Round 1:
The fight started with the hideous shoes that her grandmother had let her pick out for herself at the store — these black, shiny, glittery jellie shoes with a hot pink border. It was the end of the world when we wouldn’t let her put on her “new shoes”. As Dad sat there with a dumbfounded look on his face, completely unable to understand the irrationality of it all, I reasoned that the shoes really didn’t match what she was wearing and that they looked like the shoes the mean wizard on Diego wore.Me: You don’t want to wear shoes like the mean wizard who turned all the elephants into stone, do you?
“The Terrible Two”: (In between heart wrenching sobs) No-sob-oo..
Me: Ok, then. Let’s go pick out a snacky snack!
Round 2:
As we get breakfast ready, I tell her it’s time to start cleaning up her magnets that always end up on the floor by the refrigerator.
“The Terrible Two”:(In the most whiny voice ever.) But, mama!!! I WANT to play with my magnets!!! I want to play with my magnets! Nono, don’t take them!.
Me: (In the most aggravated voice ever.) NO! That’s it. Because you are whining, you will not get to play with your magnets. Put everything away now.
“The Terrible Two”: (Cries in the most heart wrenching sobs to show you just how much you have hurt her.)
Round 3:
Surprise, surprise. We were late for our appointment that morning with all of the traumatizing, heart shattering events that took place. As we get into the car, she begins to flail and do the amazing limp noodle act that makes it completely impossible to place her in position to buckle the 50 latches that encompass a child’s carseat.
Daddy: Why do you insist on arguing with me about EVERYTHING today??
“The Terrible Two”: Because, I want to argue with you, Daddy.
It was similar to a UFC fight, (3) 5 minute rounds in the Octogon with undefeated “The Terrible Two”. As we dragged our exhausted selves to bed that night, all we could hope for was that “The Terrible Two” was replaced with the “Sweetest Girl in the World” in the morning.
